About Me

Hello, my name is Tipsy Mermaid, and I started this blog to change the world or to get free shrimp chips online, whichever comes first.  (Call me, AsianFoodGrocer!)  Anyway, I'm Filipino, 50+ and just itching to retire on a smallish fixed income.  I don't cook; I don't drive; I don't do Facebook or Twitter; and AMAZON is my second home.  (I think I even bought one Artgum eraser from them for the Free Shipping.)  And while I am no Jonathan Swift, I do enjoy writing on just about any subject under the sun. 

Me in the Pool.  Things really do seem larger underwater!

An Update:  More Things About Me!  (Someone was complaining that

my bio was too short.  Did I just spring from the forehead of Zeus?) 

VANITY FAIR INTERVIEWS TIPSY MERMAID! 

Did you enjoy college?

College bored me.  Frankly, I don't recommend going to university unless you are trying for a professional degree in law, librarianship, the medical field, or the hard sciences. Otherwise, I feel you can pretty much learn everything on your own by reading all the marvelous stuff in your undergraduate library.  Of course, this won't work unless Reading is in your blood. (Wikipedia is not the Supreme Authority for everything, kiddies!)

Which living person do you most despise?

It's hard to say. I actually see two of them almost everyday in the workplace, LOL. A lot of conservatives also bug me:  George Will, Chris Christie, Rush Limbaugh, Henry Kissinger, whom I regard as a major war criminal.  I used to hate Christopher Hitchens with a passion, but since he died, I have ceased tearing up his books for use in my neighbor's birdcage.

What is the trait / cultural trend you most deplore?

Narcissism. Selfishness. The mindless worship of celebrities and athletes. Reality shows which feature animal abuse (I'm looking at you, Hillbilly Handfishing!), toddler beauty pageants, underdressed housewives, and "know-it-all" pawnshop owners.

Who are your favourite writers?

Gary Jennings, Robert Graves, H.V. Morton, E.F. Benson, M.R. James, Ray Bradbury, Paul Rothfuss, Colleen McCullough, Dan Simmons, James Clavell.

What is your greatest extravagance?

Buying books, bags and shoes. However, I think I've bought the last bag I'll ever want -- where would I use them? Starbucks? As for the shoe thing, its not because I have an Imelda Marcos sized shoe fetish, but because I suffer from peripheral neuropathy, which is a foot condition characterized by numbness, tingling, painful spasms and toe cramp. Basically, all of my shoes don't feel right, so I am always searching for the shoe which will give me the least discomfort.

What is your favourite magazine?

I am ashamed to say HOUSE BEAUTIFUL. I also subscribe to NEW YORK magazine even though I don't live in New York. And though I heartily disagree with the ridiculous editorial content of the WALL STREET JOURNAL, the rest of the newspaper is superb.

What is your principal defect?

A strong affection for bacon & hash browns.  I also wish I liked veggies more.

What is your idea of earthly happiness?

To live in an English country cottage decorated with a large quantity of books, flowers & Old Master paintings, while having a driver (I would own a Bentley) who looks exactly like Michael Fassbender.  Oh, I also want more hair on my head so cashiers can stop calling me "sir" in food courts.

What is it you most dislike about your workplace?

I dislike being patronized particularly by people who have power over me.  So I'll be agreeable now, but I won't be so agreeable later.  Heh.

Who would you have liked to be?

Evelyn Waugh without the girth, the unpleasantness, the embarrassing death, and the ear trumpet.  On the other hand, perhaps I'd prefer to be Captain Picard.  (Gahhh, they're all bald!)

How would you like to die?

Old, painlessly, in my best striped cotton pajamas, with thousands of grieving people outside my home, singing QUEEN'S Love of My Life while tears streak their faces in the gloom of a winter afternoon.

                                  

                                Marc Martel singing LOVE OF MY LIFE (June 2012)