Retirement Blues

Is Henri near retirement?  I think so.   My *cat door* is five weeks away.

Assorted Thoughts

Received a retirement mug today from a kindly neighbor. It says "The past is history. Tomorrow's a mystery. Today is a gift."  Hoookay.  I will have to think about the gifty part again on Wednesday, when my workplace closes down for an all-day staff meeting, and we have to listen to 6 hours of stuff that has nothing to do with our work.  I wonder if I should bring a large bag of Honey Dijon potato chips to the proceedings, but decide the loud crunching noises would attract Security.

Meanwhile, the library finds that Big Bossy has decided to retire at the end of December 2012!  WOW, that was shocking.  We thought she would never leave ... I mean, we thought she would be our executive director for another 5 years at least.  Naturally, most of us have mixed emotions ... but, really, I was STUNNED.   I was so stunned that my jaw fell to the floor and crushed a malingering cockroach.  But I will write more about this affair after I have officially retired and chugged a  large sparkly martini.

I'm cooking Hormel smoked *pork chops* for my dad's lunch.  That is -- ordinary ham cut in the shape of pork chops with the little rims of *pretend* fat.  My dad bought it because it looked healthier.  Did I forget to add that those 4 skinny fake pork chops cost almost $5?  Tsk tsk tsk.

                                       Come on, no one hates a staff meeting that much!

48 Days to Go!

It's mid-October; the box turtle is digging up the backyard, looking for a comfy place to hibernate; and I have only 48 days to go before the End of My Glorious Library Career. Huzzahhh!  In fact, I am sure I have changed the World since my highly important initials MLC must show up just about 80,000 times in the OCLC database!  (OCLC is an online global library catalogue.)

So what's left?  Well, I have to bring my crap home.  That is: all my books, gardening & decoration magazines, coffee mugs, miniature Buddha collection, assorted knicknacks and doodads, photographs, and office supplies that I PURCHASED FOR MY PERSONAL USE because the library is too cheap to provide them.  For example, instead of Post-Its, our resourceful supply person has to give us old cut-up, somewhat sticky telephone memo pads. So I buy my own Post-Its as well as my own Extra Fine Razor Point PILOT pens which I prefer for my exquisite penmanship. Yairs.  Funny how Management can renovate our entire building at huge cost, but go el-cheapo in the post-it department.

I also found a large packet of caricatures which I used to draw when I got annoyed with someone.  There is AT LEAST a hundred of these caricatures, but most of the people featured have long gone or retired.  I don't make them anymore, especially after A Caricatured One snooped in my desk drawer (probably to look for a Post-It) and found my stash.  So now I just fume and blog, chortle!

                                                   48 days?  You've got to be kidding!

Bookish Confessions, Pt. I

My sister, Tipsy VA Loan Analyst, interviews Tipsy Mermaid on her Wildly Exciting Career Path:

Tipsy VA:  How did you find your job?

My mum found my job.  I had just spent 7 months watching Frankie Goes to Hollywood videos when my mum pushed me off our flowered gabardine couch, shoved the LA Times Classifieds in front of my nose, and told me to apply for a temp job at a downtown law library. Since I was already sick of watching the only TWO Frankie videos available on MTV, I affably agreed to apply for a two year job relabeling 10,000 law books.  

Eventually (because I was so good at applying glue), I was offered a library clerk position, and after two years of rather intermittent training, I was promoted to Library Cataloging Assistant. Huzzahh!  From there, it was only a matter of time (like 20 years!) before I reached my current title of Library Assistant Who's been Around since the founding of Angkor Wat.

What is your favourite library?

THE LONDON LIBRARY in 14 Saint James Square, London. What a beautiful building!  Their collection is particularly strong in the humanities: history, art, world literature, religion, and gorgeous Jude Law type circulation clerks.  

Your favourite books?

Difficult question. You can't have just one! I would say my favourite historical fiction is Colleen McCullough's epic ROME series, which covers the Age of Sulla to the death of Cleopatra in six gigantic doorstop volumes.  I also love the endlessly inventive Gary Jennings who wrote AZTEC and THE JOURNEYER, books I re-read almost every year for their hot Kamasutric possibilities.  Sex featuring an onion?  CHECK!  Sex with a teapot?  CHECK!  By the way, if you want to experience *erotica* by purchasing FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, don't waste your money.  If I read about one more *shattering orgasm that happened because he touched me down there, there, in my secret private place, using his very long index finger*  I think I'll puke into 15 handbags.  Good grief, woman!  Be glad the author hasn't thought of chopsticks!

Tipsy VA:  Uhhhh ... where were we?  Can we continue next week?  I .. uhh .. have something to buy on AMAZON. 

       Interview to be continued next week!     

Fluffeh Maru

Ooops, how did that get in here?

Maru, the fluffiest cat in the planet, gets his ears cleaned.  Looks like
someone has  been having more than their share of the potato salad.