Windows 8 ... Nooooo!

Well well well ... its 2013 and I have WINDOWS 8 on my computer!  Oh nooo!  [Tipsy starts to hyperventilate.]  Yes, I have an expensive new desktop alright, but it also has the shockingly different Windows 8 interface with its *living tiles* and no way to exit a page!  Ughhhhh!  Where's my big old *E* button that was perfect for these senior eyes?  What happened to my oh-so-convenient list of bookmarks that was always there on the left side of my screen?  How come the computer clock keeps going back to Central Time?  Does Microsoft want me to move to Arkansas?  So tonight, I am waiting for my new book WINDOWS 8 FOR DUMMIES which I just ordered from Amazon.  Unfortunately, there will be a week's delay because of the many dummies out there who also got a new computer for 2013.  Gahhhh!

Meanwhile, I have started reading my Christmas book stash again, starting with the vampire thriller RED, WHITE AND BLOOD by Chris Farnsworth.  I don't read vampire things usually (however, I will tolerate well-written zombies), but this book features a handsome 140 year old bloodsucker who serves the President of the United States!  We should all be so lucky. Yarrrr.

Straining for the Finish Line!

Of course it had to happen! My computer had to conk out just as my Last WorkWeek is starting.  Bleech. What's worse is that, basically, I am scared of computers and all its attendant responsibilities, including the computer guy I just called to fix my laptop.  How do I describe my problem?  That I hear weird little whirring noises while I stare at kittens on Cute Overload?  That it takes 6 hours for my computer to shut down?  That I'm even suspicious of all those creepy Adobe updates?  (Who is Adobe and what does it want?) 

So what's left?  Well, there's that dreaded Exit Interview.  The Human Resources lady said she would give me the questions ahead of time, but I haven't heard from her in 2 weeks.  I guess she's too busy with our Soon-To-be Ex Director's More Important Paperwork and Ridiculously Large Alimony.  In my next life, I will try to come back as a Library Director who still manages to negotiate for ungodly sums of *separation* money despite doing a lousy job.  It's a Good Thing.

"Will you be home with me all the time now, Mommy?"