Support Pantless Prince Harry!

What, don't people have a sense of humor anymore?  The Queen's Hussars support Prince Harry in his naked Vegas shenanigans!  (I know they don't look like Hussars at the moment, but you have to imagine them in their tall furry hats.)

Meanwhile, play this youtube whilst observing this stirring (if rather teensy) sight of British manliness.  Ahem.

 

 

                                      

96 Days & Counting!

WOW, could it be so?  I have 96 days left on my Novelty Retirement Clock!  (A blue cartoonish object purchased on Amazon for a ridiculous $14, eeek!)  Counting assorted holidays & days off for doctors appointments, that is actually only 64 working days!  (My last day is November 30, 2012.)   A lot of people tell me that the days will go by like a speeding bullet, but I don't think that's true at all.  I find every day unbearably slow, and I am actually considering using some of my vacation so I can leave even earlier. (I have 200 hours vacation which cannot be converted into service credit.)  I know my boss won't be happy about it, but frankly, who cares?  28 years of near non-appreciation from most of my superiors and I'm supposed to give a Flying F**k?  (Pardon the salty language, but I'm a bit pissed at the moment.)

It's funny, but after working here for so long, I no longer have a sense of the weight & depth of real life.  I come to work. I get my coffee. My boss emails me my assignments for the week.  She checks with me to see if I'm ok with it. I work for eight hours. If there happens to be a stray electron of amusement in my working day, it comes from some cynical friend or from the internet. I work some more.  At 4:45 PM, I leave.  And every two weeks, I get paid.  Thats It.

96 days left on my retirement clock.   Tick tock, tick tock ...

                                                   

The Portentous Puzzle of Mr Ping!

I was rummaging through my sock drawer for .. er .. socks when I came
across this mathematical thingie called THE PORTENTOUS PUZZLE OF
MR PING, with which I had apparently amused myself in the overheated
Summer of 1998.  (I had pencilled in *Summer 1998* in a corner of the
portentous notebook paper.)

Pick the number of days a week that you would like to go out for Chinese
food (or pizza or tacos or whatever).
Multiply this number by 2.
Add 5.
Multiply result by 50.

If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1748. If you haven't, add 1747.
From this number, subtract the four digit year that is your birth year.

If you followed my most explicit instructions, you should now have a THREE DIGIT number. The first digit was the original number you chose in Step 1 (how many times a week you want to go to the The Fishy Chippy!). The second 2 digits reveal your AGE (in 1998!) !!! By the Ugly Astrologers of Chaldea, is this not AMAZING ???

Note:  1998 is the only year in which this Portentous Puzzle applies.  (So sue me.)

                        
                                                                     
                                      

About Me Update! Huzzahh!

It took forever (there's a horrible heat wave at the moment) but I have just updated my ABOUT ME section.  In the bio, I also included a clip of the fabulous Marc Martel singing in QUEEN EXTRAVAGANZA, a concert tribute to my favourite band in the world.

PS. I would also like to drop in a word for the artistic creator of my blog, Sharon Henry of PLUMROSE LANE, who did a fabulous job of all the whizbangs & decoretage!  Thank you, dear Sharon. 

Bag Hag

Ok, I admit it -- I love handbags.  I know I don't seem to be the handbag type -- What, me comb my hair? Don't be ridiculous! I combed it 2 days ago! -- but I own perhaps 30 satchels, hobos, rucksacks, canvas messengers & totes.  Now, that doesn't sound like a large collection to most fashionistas, but when you find your dog sleeping on a shredded motorcycle bag from FOSSIL and you don't care, perhaps you do have a bit of a problem. 

So what kind of handbag do I like?  Well, first, it has to be very large -- at least, 18 inches across, 16 inches tall, and at least 5 inches deep.  Shoulder straps have to be minimum of  16 inches long. It has to contain my immensely fat 12 year old wallet, a daily newspaper, a water bottle, my lunch, my current trashy paperback, my sketchbook & pencil box, and a ring of keys large enough to unlock the Bank of America. It also has to be made of buttery soft RED, FUSCHIA or ORANGE leather (faux leather is ok too) and MUST HAVE multiple outside zippered pockets for my bus pass, ID card, and my vast collection of quarters for vending machine Cheez-It emergencies.  

So if I know exactly what I like, what's with the 30 bags in the closet? Well ...  nothing's wrong with them really, except maybe the color wasn't quite right, or the pockets were too shallow, or the leather was so stiff that it bruised my deliciously dimpled underarms.  And I only have 4 months left until Retirement -- will I need another bag after that?

On the other hand ... Isn't this gorgeous?  I know it's yellow but still ...