I was called back. After 5 years of clear mammograms, I was called back. I couldn't believe it -- here I was, on the glorious edge of Retirement, and I get a freaking call from Kaiser about returning for a second mammogram and an ultrasound. Apparently, they had found something *interesting* in my smidge of a right breast. Okay, I reasoned, it must be really miniscule, a veritable dust mite, if they found it in one of my pea-like boobs. So I managed to stop hyperventilating for 5 minutes and made the appointment for Friday, October 5.
I wish I could say I calmed down after that. But alas, I just managed to scare myself witless by going on the internuts and finding the discussion forums of Breastcancer.org. This is a wonderful site, an amazing site, a hyperactive ganglion of precious first-hand information about breast cancer, but, being the incredibly stupid nosey person that I am, I also peered into threads like *Sharp Shooting Pain Feels like I am Being Stabbed* and *My Breast Feels like a Ticking Time Bomb.* Uh oh. Not a good idea.
Two days later, I am back at Kaiser. The second mammogram wasn't too bad -- I think New Nursie was warned that my breasts bear a fleeting resemblance to garbanzo beans, so I got a better, less painful machine -- Huzzahhh! The ultrasound wasn't bad either -- Nursie smeared some really cold jellied stuff on my breast, and then tried to iron me like a fine linen blouse. After consulting with the radiologist (who was somewhere else on the premises), Nursie announced that they had found 2 very small cysts and that I was free to go, although they would like to check up on the little buggers again after 6 months. OH JOY! I then leaped off the examination table, threw my bra in the trash (it was an old bra anyway, probably from high school) and ran off with my sister to Carls Jr. for some lovely fried onion rings. Really, it takes so little to make me happy.
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The call back. The fear in the pit of the stomach. I am SO glad that you have cysts...strange to say? My call back was because of calcifications and I knew from the tone of the voice of my doctor and everyone else that they "knew" what they were looking at and for. So always remember that too -- the voices "know" (and so do we..it's the instinct thing).
ReplyDeleteWhat did make me smile in this was you finding breast cancer dot org. I spent over a year on that discussion board after treatment and it has much good information and it is also a hotbed of discontent and nasty women!!! lol!!
You did what everyone does and what I always remind people NOT to do -- go to what you called the "internuts" -- so well described. You can worry yourself "sick" doing that...hard not to though when you fear your whole life is about to take a nose dive, crash and burn and then it will be rebuilding.
I'm so thankful that you came away with cysts to be watched....once again a great reminder that even in a small breast much can be felt and seen!
Thanks, Sherry. My terror doesn't show up that much in this post, but you can believe that I was already planning for lumpectomies, mastectomies and assorted other dreadful scenarios.(Honestly, I don't think the surgeons could mastectomize anything much off my chest, heh).
ReplyDeletelol...oh you'd be surprised what they could do even on the smallest of chests...I'm just happy that you don't have to find out!!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteSo glad that the follow-up turned out ok. How terrifying! I was just talking with my hairdresser yesterday about how overdue I am for a mammogram (over 2 years - yikes). This is motivation to get it done.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck, Jessie! I must say this call-back scared the heck out of me. I did get a look at my ultrasound but I couldn't really figure out what I was looking at.
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