Straining for the Finish Line!

Of course it had to happen! My computer had to conk out just as my Last WorkWeek is starting.  Bleech. What's worse is that, basically, I am scared of computers and all its attendant responsibilities, including the computer guy I just called to fix my laptop.  How do I describe my problem?  That I hear weird little whirring noises while I stare at kittens on Cute Overload?  That it takes 6 hours for my computer to shut down?  That I'm even suspicious of all those creepy Adobe updates?  (Who is Adobe and what does it want?) 

So what's left?  Well, there's that dreaded Exit Interview.  The Human Resources lady said she would give me the questions ahead of time, but I haven't heard from her in 2 weeks.  I guess she's too busy with our Soon-To-be Ex Director's More Important Paperwork and Ridiculously Large Alimony.  In my next life, I will try to come back as a Library Director who still manages to negotiate for ungodly sums of *separation* money despite doing a lousy job.  It's a Good Thing.

"Will you be home with me all the time now, Mommy?"

 

                                                

Cleaning Up My Desk

I've been at my job for 28 years.  I started as a two year temp, hired to label thousands of crumbling state law books which filled an entire floor of our library building.  When the project was done, the kindly Head of Cataloging asked me to stay on as a clerk (and eventually cataloging assistant), which I did gladly because I didn't know what else to do.  (Think hard about that Humanities degree, kidlets!)  Now, decades later, I am waxing (slightly) nostalgic over stuff from those days of yore, like a silly handmade manual of cataloging instructions which are now mostly defunct.  And I wrote everything down in my prettiest Catholic high school penmanship too.

“If the printout is a maintenance record, set *fun cat mai.* If new record, *set fun cat.* Go to the first LOC field and type <F2> b. This will recall the string bh 1, com 1, lb 1, nwk 1, pas 1, pom 1, sm 1, tor 1, vn 1.”

 

I also found photocopies of retirement cards I had made over the years for now departed friends & colleagues.  Interesting how I apparently even made cards for people I disliked profoundly, just because I was deemed the *resident artist* and everyone thought it was my duty.  And then, there are all the leftover thingies from the *blockbuster* library exhibits I had done in the 90s:  that dried up mangy tulip bulb (the Monetary Law Exhibit of '98), the resin apple pie which a hungry co-worker tried to eat (the Food Law Exhibit of '97), and the rather wonky Han granary (Ancient Chinese Law Exhibit of '99) which I should really re-sell on Ebay.  (Originally $15!  Authenticated by Sotheby. Seriously.)

A lot of this stuff will go, of course.  Still, I will particularly miss the 40 ketchup packets which I had been planning to sell to the highest bidder if the staff had all been trapped in the aftermath of a catastrophic earthquake.  And that tempting bag of chili lemon pork rinds from 2004?   Ehhh .. maybe not so much.

                                                                Going, going ...                                                     

48 Days to Go!

It's mid-October; the box turtle is digging up the backyard, looking for a comfy place to hibernate; and I have only 48 days to go before the End of My Glorious Library Career. Huzzahhh!  In fact, I am sure I have changed the World since my highly important initials MLC must show up just about 80,000 times in the OCLC database!  (OCLC is an online global library catalogue.)

So what's left?  Well, I have to bring my crap home.  That is: all my books, gardening & decoration magazines, coffee mugs, miniature Buddha collection, assorted knicknacks and doodads, photographs, and office supplies that I PURCHASED FOR MY PERSONAL USE because the library is too cheap to provide them.  For example, instead of Post-Its, our resourceful supply person has to give us old cut-up, somewhat sticky telephone memo pads. So I buy my own Post-Its as well as my own Extra Fine Razor Point PILOT pens which I prefer for my exquisite penmanship. Yairs.  Funny how Management can renovate our entire building at huge cost, but go el-cheapo in the post-it department.

I also found a large packet of caricatures which I used to draw when I got annoyed with someone.  There is AT LEAST a hundred of these caricatures, but most of the people featured have long gone or retired.  I don't make them anymore, especially after A Caricatured One snooped in my desk drawer (probably to look for a Post-It) and found my stash.  So now I just fume and blog, chortle!

                                                   48 days?  You've got to be kidding!

Bookish Confessions, Pt. I

My sister, Tipsy VA Loan Analyst, interviews Tipsy Mermaid on her Wildly Exciting Career Path:

Tipsy VA:  How did you find your job?

My mum found my job.  I had just spent 7 months watching Frankie Goes to Hollywood videos when my mum pushed me off our flowered gabardine couch, shoved the LA Times Classifieds in front of my nose, and told me to apply for a temp job at a downtown law library. Since I was already sick of watching the only TWO Frankie videos available on MTV, I affably agreed to apply for a two year job relabeling 10,000 law books.  

Eventually (because I was so good at applying glue), I was offered a library clerk position, and after two years of rather intermittent training, I was promoted to Library Cataloging Assistant. Huzzahh!  From there, it was only a matter of time (like 20 years!) before I reached my current title of Library Assistant Who's been Around since the founding of Angkor Wat.

What is your favourite library?

THE LONDON LIBRARY in 14 Saint James Square, London. What a beautiful building!  Their collection is particularly strong in the humanities: history, art, world literature, religion, and gorgeous Jude Law type circulation clerks.  

Your favourite books?

Difficult question. You can't have just one! I would say my favourite historical fiction is Colleen McCullough's epic ROME series, which covers the Age of Sulla to the death of Cleopatra in six gigantic doorstop volumes.  I also love the endlessly inventive Gary Jennings who wrote AZTEC and THE JOURNEYER, books I re-read almost every year for their hot Kamasutric possibilities.  Sex featuring an onion?  CHECK!  Sex with a teapot?  CHECK!  By the way, if you want to experience *erotica* by purchasing FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, don't waste your money.  If I read about one more *shattering orgasm that happened because he touched me down there, there, in my secret private place, using his very long index finger*  I think I'll puke into 15 handbags.  Good grief, woman!  Be glad the author hasn't thought of chopsticks!

Tipsy VA:  Uhhhh ... where were we?  Can we continue next week?  I .. uhh .. have something to buy on AMAZON. 

       Interview to be continued next week!